The name is misleading – I truly hate coffee…

So how do I get my regular caffeine fix, you ask? A combination of things and some of them are terrible for my system. I hate coffee unless it is the totally high-calorie concoction frozen mocha monstrosity mass-produced by Starbucks. Due to the fact I have to take a second mortgage out just to buy those regularly, I stick with other alternatives. Number one reason I hate coffee is the smell. The smell is great when it is brewed. Then it lingers. Then the odor permeates the bathroom when you urinate so anyone else using the bathroom within a 2 hour window knows someone had coffee. The caffeine is fine. The hot drink is okay. No sugar or with sugar does not matter to me. The smell and the simple effects of coffee just bother me. Add to the fact I have had coffee strong enough to stand up and introduce itself to you with the consistency of road mud. I take the less healthier alternative of sodas, energy drinks, and various energy powder concoctions. Energy drinks can be dangerous and make people think you have a drug problem because of your resulting twitchiness. Sodas are terrible for you and just add water weight to your body, but that coke is soooo good!!! The powders have had little noticeable effects on myself and due to the ridiculous GNC-level pricing, not a good alternative.